Day Three - Vegas to the grand Grand Canyon (July 29, 2013)

I was up by 8ish.  I took the "golf cart" to the local 7-11 for coffee.  When I asked the woman at the 7-11 for decaf she looked at me as though I'd asked for Drano-laced cappucino.  But she willingly made up an entire coffee urn of decaf because I'd asked for it.  Apparently the population of Las Vegas does not use decaf.  I guess that actually makes sense if you think about it.

Back to the hotel with two VERY hot cups of coffee and some McDonald's egg white McMuffins (two thumbs up from me!)  I got into the elevator (which had some wacky characteristics) for a *hopefully* quick ride to the 15th floor.  Well, ten minutes later I had gone up and down like a yo-yo without being any closer to my destination.  There was a dripping wet German who got on on the fourth floor to go down to the pool.  Then a bunch of other people got on at various floors to go to other floors, none of which were MY floor.  So I rode and rode with my hot coffee and McDonald's bag.  As it turned out, the German ended up getting to the pool before I got to my floor.  As he left he said in broken English, "Well, at least we are happy" (meaning himself and the other people that got to their correct floors) as he left the elevator.  Gee, thanks.  Sounds like the entirety of German's answer to World War II in a nutshell.  Lovely.

Death trap

Anyway, enough of my Euro-bashing.  We left the hotel after
10 am and went back to NYNY with our voucher for that roller coaster ride.  Not a cloud in the sky.  We were NOT going to miss out on it THIS time!  Too bad we didn't.  The ride was the absolute WORST roller coaster I have ever had the misfortune to ride.  It was the teeth-rattling, bone-shattering, head-slamming, kidney punching, concussion-inducing, femur-rattling ride from the bowels of hell.  (refer back to Mistake #2)  It really hurt like a mother.  I'm sure Barbie would have some choice words for this ride, but I'm sure she was still outside Caesar's ranting the F word. On the bright side, we did get a magnet!  So all is forgiven.

Michael also got a red rubber ball from a claw machine.  Exactly what he needed to keep him occupied for our ride to the Canyon.  He's such a boy.

I had wanted to get some pics of the famed Las Vegas sign which we did not see on our way into the city.  We were on the Interstate and the sign is placed on Las Vegas Blvd. which is where you would normally drive into the city pre-interstate days.  It's south of the city.  So it would welcome all those "swells" who were making their way from L.A. to Vegas as they drove up in their Buicks and Caddies.  (see Day One for the photo of the famous sign).

JACKPOT! 100 oz of sweet Diet Coke

We stopped, got our pics, and hurried on towards that big hole in Arizona.  On the way we did spy Lake Mead but did not stop.  Where did we stop?  At a gas station to stock up on car provisions.  And I hit the JACKPOT!  Slot machine?  No.  I got a 100 oz. soda for $1.49 (with reusable cup).  KA-CHING!!  Life is sweet.  Take that Mayor Bloomberg!

I won't bore you with any details of the drive from Vegas to the Canyon.  Just lots and lots and lots of miles of endless nothing.  First scrubby nothing, then pine-treed nothing, then mountainous and pine-treed nothing.  At times Steve would wonder about what people did when they broke down and then we'd all fall into silent prayer that it wouldn't be us.  We did get lost at one point that added another hour to the trip (which we really didn't need) so it took us six hours to get there instead of five.

We checked into Thunderbird Lodge which is located right on the rim.  Very sparse accommodations, but everything we need.  We got everything into the room and settled and then Steve wanted to take a look.  This is HIS THING.  He LOVES the Grand Canyon.  He loves hiking it, looking at it, marveling at the colors, absorbing into his pores.  He just is mesmerized by it.  I think Michael was more impressed by the casino.  And I was still staring at my lovely 100 oz. cup.  To each his own.

The Canyon

We were slated to do our "hike" the next day, but Steve still wanted to go down the trail a little ways right then and there.  The funniest thing (okay, funny strange, not ha-ha) was that he had no idea how close we were to the Bright Angel trailhead.  We got into the car to "drive" there only to find out that the trailhead was actually within about 150 yards from our hotel room.  Since he'd always come up for the day and never stayed in any of the places on the rim, he was completely turned around.  Luckily I figured it out before we lost our parking space.  So we got back out of the car and walked to the trail.

Okay, right here I have to relate to you an entry I made into my notebook that I kept during the trip.  It reads, "A little worried about hike tomorrow.  I know I need plenty of water to hike."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA--wiping tears away--HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

A LITTLE WORRIED!  Yeah, and Kim Kardashian is a little overplayed.  Lindsay Lohan was a little addicted.  Paris Hilton is a little overrated.  Charlie Sheen is a little crazy.  I should've been petrified, I should've been clinging to the door frame as Steve dragged me out, I should've run screaming for the exit, but I just wasn't aware.  Perhaps if I'd seen the book that I bought after my traumatic hike, I would've thought twice about the hike.  What book?  "Over the Edge:  Death in the Canyon" .  Enlightening.  If you are thinking of hiking, read it first.  At the very least, you won't be an addendum to the book next year.

But I didn't.  Buy the book.  Until after the hike.  So, no, that's not my picture on the cover.

BUT while we took a look on the trailhead that night, we almost did see another potential entry happen.  This DOOFUS with his two young girls was HELPING them up onto an unprotected cliff (no rails) so that they could go investigate this small opening in the cliff wall.  I would estimate their ages at about 8 and 12.  WHAT THE -- Where is Barbie when I need her to curse for me?  WHAT WAS THIS GUY THINKING??  And so you can understand why the book is 586 pages long.

Our last meal.  Profectic words?  Hopefully.

We ate at Bright Angel Lodge and went to bed relatively early to be ready for the hike.  Can one actually prepare for the snuffing out of one's life on a dusty, rocky trail?  Soldier on, dear reader.

Day Two - Viva Las Vegas! (July 28, 2013)

So when you go to sleep around what your body thinks is 4:30 am, you are not going to be up with roosters.  Or with anyone who gets up before, say 10:30 am.  I mean seriously.  That was one LONG day.  I did get up before Steve and Michael and made my way down to the small coffee shop/gift shop downstairs.  This hotel did not have gambling (I didn't know that was legal in Vegas) so it was your basic nice Hilton Hotel.  No hookers standing outside waiting for cabs.  (Okay, that was kinda disappointing...I love me some good people watching)

I got a couple of coffees, some breakfast things and some juice.  Don't ever say I don't make breakfast for my boys. We got ourselves together and got out of the door by noon.  Yep.  That was the best we were going to do for having been up 22 hours the day before. 

Mandalay Bay Hotel

My trusty guide book (I get one for every place we are going just to make sure we don't miss anything) told me that we needed to start our at Mandalay Bay at the south end and make our way up the Strip.  So we drove our trusty car(t) to the Mandalay Bay self-park and proceeded to go through the hotel and out the other side.  My plan was to take stock of each hotel and casino just to see the different themes, styles, architecture, etc., but that was pretty much thwarted from the outset.  I knew that Mandalay Bay was known for its reef aquarium, but once we saw the charge to get in, it was a no-go.  After all we have the National Aquarium in Baltimore.  We don't need to see this one in a hotel!  Suffice to say we never really saw Mandalay Bay at all.

Excalibur

It was about 100 degrees in Vegas and walking was like taking a stroll through a very large crematorium.   Hot, hot, hot!

The guide book told us to saunter down to New York New York next.  Which meant skipping over the Excalibur and the MGM Grand.  That was fine with me.  The Excalibur looked like something out of a '70s movie about King Arthur and the MGM Grand was undergoing major renovation.

The Luxor

We also skipped over the Luxor.  These were all of the older hotels.  How old?  Well, I think they were all there when I was in Vegas last.  And that was when I was fifteen.  Okay, enough with the old jokes.  Yeah, they've been there awhile.

So we went into New York, New York.  And we finally got a reaction out of Michael.  When he saw the expanse of the slot machines, craps tables, roulette, blackjack, et al, he just stood there.  In a hushed voice he said, "Whoa."  Yep, that is the height of praise from our fifteen-year-old.  It was pretty impressive. We all really wanted to ride the famous roller coaster that wraps around the hotel/casino.  The line looked daunting, though.  But the line attendant assured us that, in fact, the line was only about 20 minutes long. 

See the roller coaster tracks?

Indeed our line attendant was quite right.  And if the lightning hadn't started up right when we were about to board it probably would've only taken 20 minutes.  But they closed the ride down and started to issue refunds.  Timing is everything.  Mine is AWFUL.  However, I was savvy enough to ask if we could just keep our tickets and skip the line if we came back later.  They agreed to that (Mistake #2 - explanation later). We figured we would ride maybe later that day or the next day since we would still be in Vegas for a short time before leaving to drive to the Grand Canyon.

NEXT!

 

The baguette

Next on the Lonely Planet's list of things not to miss in Vegas is the Paris Hotel which was fashioned after --- wait for it -- the City of Lights, Paris!  Clever, huh?  The guide book suggested that after we looked around the hotel we eat at the French bistro, Mon Ami Gabi, which was located right at the very front of the Paris hotel.  It had started to sprinkle a bit so this was a perfect time to stop what we were doing and grab something to eat.  What an absolute treat this was!  Our waiter was amazing.  I don't often (ever) say that, but this guy was really, really great.  We got fresh long baguettes wrapped in paper with crocks of REAL butter.  As an appetizer we got the warm brie with black pepper, honey, hazelnuts, and croutons (more like crouton crackers).  Yummy!!  Doesn't it just slay you when a chef puts together things that sound like they'd be disgusting (black pepper/honey/cheese) and they turn out to be absolutely fabulous?  It's actually kinda weird.  Just don't know how they do that.

Paris hotel

For lunch Michael and I ordered the Croque Monsieur (which is actually just a fancy melted ham and cheese sandwich) but, oh, was it delicious! Steve had the warm chicken and brie sandwich with caramelized onions and green apple (there they go again -- onions and apples?)  It was fantastique!!

La Tour Eiffel

Plus, we were pretty parched from marching up and down the strip in the heat of the day and we all three ordered iced teas.  Well, our waiter must've brought about 15 iced teas to the table during our meal.  He was efficient without being obtrusive--a very rare trait in a waiter.  Our table was right by the window so although we weren't outside, we could see outside but remain nice and dry.  The shower was over very quickly anyway.

Don't worry, I won't go into agonizing detail about every meal we had.  I just had to rave over this one which was perfect from beginning to end!  We even talked to the manager to compliment the waiter.  We have never had the pleasure of doing that before.  So lunch was a complete success.

Mon Ami Gabi - notice the misting water they had to combat the heat.

The sky cleared (as we knew it would) and we walked from Paris to Rome (in a manner of speaking).  We went from the Paris hotel to the Bellagio to watch the water show.  it seems like we were always in between times so we walked on having not seen the show.

As we walked on to the next hotel we spotted a "Half Price Tickets" place.  It looked like the TKTS place in Times Square where you can get discounted tickets for Broadway shows, usually for the day you are waiting in line.   We figured we'd check it out and see if it was the same kind of deal.  Turns out it pretty much was.  The discounts weren't quite as steep as the ones you see at TKTS but it was still good.   So what did we pick from the vast array of choices we had?  Penn and Teller.  At the Rio.  The Rio?  The Rio.  The Rio happened to be a bit off the Strip.  And one catch about the tickets is that although you pay for the tickets at the booth, you only get a voucher for them, and so you have to go to the hotel where the show is located to pick up the actual tickets.  The sooner you get to the hotel to pick them up, the better your seats.  So, naturally, we decided to immediately get to the Rio to pick up our tickets.

We noticed that the Rio was behind Caesar's Palace so again we ventured to Italy as we walked to Caesar's Palace.

Now Caesar's has been around for a LONG TIME.  It was there when I was there in 1974 and I'm sure it was there long before even that.  Wasn't that where Evel Knievel jumped the fountains?

Anyway, I thought it would be kind of a dump by now.  NOT SO.  Not in the least.  It was GORGEOUS.  Absolutely magnificent.  I would say that it rivaled The Venetian in its elegance.

But enough gawking at the splendor, we had to get to the Rio for our tickets!  How to get there?  You see, it was behind Caesar's, but not like RIGHT behind it.  It was behind Caesar's and past the interstate!  It was a hike and a half.  At first we decided maybe we could take a shuttle (Mistake #3). So we walked to the shuttle stop.  Who was there?  A 300 lb. woman in a string bikini (yes, did you get that visual?) giving Michael advice on not using the "F" word.  He hadn't said one thing (as I'm sure you'll realize if you know Michael), but she'd used it about thirty times and decided that she needed to warn this young teenaged boy of the dangers of getting in the habit of "using that F***ING word!"  Michael just nodded and tried looking anywhere but at her.  Couldn't blame him.   Las Vegas is the epicenter for crazy.

Trevi Fountain (uh, INSIDE Caesar's!)

Deciding that perhaps the shuttle wasn't really the way to go Steve volunteered to hoof it while we waited in the air conditioned paradise of Caesar's.  Who am I to say no when he obviously wants to show off to his lovely spouse his amazing ticket-procuring prowess?  So Michael and I walked back into Caesar's while Steve walked off into the sunset.  And our 300 lb. Barbie railed on about "this f'in transit system and why the F does it f'in have to take so f'in long to f'in get here?"  I think you'll understand why we declined the privilege of public transport.

Look at that beautiful ceiling, wouldja!

So Caesar's - they must've done a major renovation at some point.  The Forum Shoppes were simply beautiful and the walk through them was like strolling through Rome.  They have a Trevi fountain which, if it isn't exactly the same size, is pretty darn close.  Statues and tile floors.  Beautiful layout and gorgeous architecture. 

Even the sky was beautiful - the PAINTED sky 

So, to make a very long story (day) short(er) Steve met up with us at Bally's after his very long trek to pick up the tickets.  At this point we looked at our options for what to do until the show.  We decided we really didn't have time to go to back to the hotel before the show which started at 7:30.

So our next daunting task was getting back to our car which was ALL THE WAY back at Mandalay Bay.  We'd been walking for close to six hours so the idea of hoofing it back to the first hotel was--well, not too attractive.  So there were a couple of options - walking (out), the monorail (the route is not well defined and wouldn't get us to where we wanted to go), bus (uh, they wanted $8 per person for an all day pass--NEXT!), or taxi.  Taxi it is.  The cab got us to the hotel and within just a few yards from our car.  DEFINITELY the best option.

From there we drove to the Rio.  We were early for the show, but we figured we would hang out and look at the hotel for awhile before the show started.  Well, in one of the ballrooms, the 2013 Junior National Billiards tournament was going on.  We just stumbled onto it.  Outside that ballroom we happened to run into the father of the girl who was currently playing in the championship game.  And BOY was he nervous.  He must've said the same things about five times each.  It was either nerves or he had Tourette's.  In any event, his darling daughter came in second in the Nationals, which is nothing to sneeze at.

Penn and Teller on the side of the Rio

From there we went to the theater and watched the show. It was fantastic!  I highly recommend you go to a Penn and Teller show at some point, if you have the chance.  They are magic.  And they do it, too!

P.S.  Walked ten miles today.

Day One - BWI to Vegas, Baby (July 27, 2013)

This blog recounts the tale of the Jenner's journey to the West in the summer of 2013.  The tale is full of highs and lows.  Ups and downs.  Ins and outs.  And that's just the hiking part.  In any event, I hope you enjoy our adventures.

We had all day Saturday to pack.  I mean ALL DAY Saturday.  Our flight didn't leave until 7:30 pm.  My advice?  Don't give yourself so much time on the first day of vacation.  You are just ITCHING to get out of Dodge and to delay it that long is almost physically painful.  Mistake #1 (don't worry, there'll be plenty more!)

We actually didn't see the sign until we left town since we came from the airport on the
interstate, but we did stop on the way out of town to take this picture. 

The nice thing is that there is no traffic on a Saturday night at the airport.  Or on the road.  Everyone else has ALREADY gone to the airport and taken off.  Hence the Express Lot, which is where I  prefer to park, was full.  So we had to park in Long Term Parking.  Long Term Parking is like the Siberia of parking lots.  They have you out so far you need a passport to board the bus to get to the terminal.  Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but it is WAY out there.  In any event, when we got to the terminal there was NO ONE in line for Spirit.  I mean no one. And yes, I did say Spirit Airlines.  More on that later.  We were off to security in a matter of minutes.  At security there was NO ONE.  It was deserted.  We thought maybe it was the apocalypse and the good people had already been taken up.  Only the TSA agents were left behind (tee hee--only kidding!)  Anyway, we got through security (albeit this one agent was giving us lessons on how to put things in bins -- yeah, like we haven't done this before).

Yes, it's true.

Now on to Spirit.  Spirit is the King of the No Frills airline.  When I say no frills, I mean, BYOW.  Yes, Water.  You pay for every nicety that you get free on other airlines.  However, I did get three round-trip non-stop tickets to Vegas for a little over $900, so I guess I can put up with the no frills thing. Except....I didn't realize that you had to pay for carry-ons and for the SEATS themselves.  Yes, I figured you'd have to pay for checked luggage.  Almost everyone does these days.  But carry-ons??  Seriously?  AND SEATS??  That's just wrong!  If you want seats that have more leg room, they're more expensive.  Want to sit nearer the front?  More money.  All told the extra luggage and seats cost me another $150 dollars.  Still not bad.  A friend had flown out last year to Vegas and paid $500 a seat for her family.  I'm still ahead.

BUT once on the plane, there were more cuts.  No drinks, soft or otherwise.  Unless $$$. No pillows, no blankets, no movie, no movie screens, no peanuts, no pretzels, no in-flight magazine, no earphone jacks, no reclining of the seats.  I do think there were air masks if we lost air pressure, but I can't be positive since we had no need for them to drop down. I'm thinking now that maybe there were coin operated air masks in case of depressurization.  Good thing I had my change purse with me.

But the bathroom did have soap.  And toilet paper.  So that was nice.

I got my restless leg syndrome towards the end of the flight which I tend to do when it is a long flight or on a long car ride without any stops.  It was torture.  But soon enough the plane had landed and we were out the door and into the Vegas heat -- near 95 degrees.  At 9:30 at night.  Like a brick oven.  Viva Las Vegas, baby!!

Cue the lights!  The action!  Ocean's Eleven!  Twelve!  Thirteen, even!  Seven, come eleven!  Let's take this town by storm!  On to the rental car stand!!

Apparently the rental car agencies are all off airport property so no matter which rental car you choose (DON'T CHOOSE BUDGET!) you have to take the shuttle to an off-airport property.  AGAIN, DO NOT CHOOSE BUDGET!  [I got ripped off last year by Budget so I am on a campaign to put them out of business.] 

Anyway, I had made reservations with Thrifty.  Steve jumped off when the bus stopped to get into line.  No need!  There was no line!  Unfortunately, there were no cars either.  Apparently there was some big basketball event happening through Sunday and all of Thrifty's cars were gone.  Wait a minute!  Where are the cameras?  I was in the middle of a Seinfeld episode!  "Sure you can TAKE the reservation, you just can't HOLD the reservation."  News flash -- apparently when you make a rental car reservation you are only reserving the RATE, not a car!  Hmm.  Did not know that.

Thrifty sent us to Payless who still had cars.  Thrifty promised (in writing) to pay the difference if the car rental was more expensive than what we had been promised at Thrifty.  I had gotten a pretty good rate at Thrifty.  Payless was also running low on cars so we ended up with a Hyundai Sonata Hybrid.  Nice looking little car.  The kicker?  It was over $600 to rent as opposed to our $300 we had been promised by Thrifty.  Oh well!  So sorry, Thrifty.  Looks like you just came up snake eyes!

We got to the car and loaded it up.  It had a tiny trunk so we had to load one suitcase in the back seat which became Michael's riding companion for the week.

Steve had the key fob since there was no key.  He pushed the "Start" button.  Nothing.  No engine sound.  Pushed it again.  Nothing.  Pushed it.  Nothing.  Well, I could keep typing the same thing, but he pushed it about five or six times.  Each time we would get little "song" when it was supposedly running but no engine noise at all.  What the...wait a minute.  It's a hybrid.  Maybe there is no engine noise.  Steve put it in gear and we were off -- like a golf cart.  WEIRD!  When the engine is using electric power the engine does not rev, it does not rumble, it just does not run at all.  It really is like driving around in a deluxe golf cart.

Kitchen

Living room

By the time we pulled into the lot of the Hilton Grand Vacations (a Disney points swap hotel) at the north end of Las Vegas it was about 11:30 pm and we all were beat.  We had a nice two bedroom suite with a full kitchen and living room.  Not that we needed it, but it was nice to have.  By the time we got settled and actually into bed it was nearing 1:30 am.  We'd been up almost 24 hours straight.  I guess this is the way to beat jet lag.  Just stay up until you catch up with the time difference. It kinda worked in our favor.

Tomorrow we hit the strip!